Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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