i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
