He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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