YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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