so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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