My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
