How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I supernannyed him into submission
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
