lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
