They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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