Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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