i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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