Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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