Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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