hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize