I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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