would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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