There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize