once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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