It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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