I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
