If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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