perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
