this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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