You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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