True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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