The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
