I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
