i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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