do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Randomize
