He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
