Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
