went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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