He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
