They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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