Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
