I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
