is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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