I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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