What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
