My boss' voice literally gives me gas
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
