As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
