Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
