dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
