Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He felt like a one man threesome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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