She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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