the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
