Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize