I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
