If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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