Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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