I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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