Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
