I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
