I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
