i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
