I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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